What you are and Who your heart beats for"
I am a sinner. After so many years of going to church and being saved I forget that. Not that I think I am perfect, but I consider myself to be somewhat mature. I've studied God's Word, not like I know everything, but I know how to study it. I struggle with things, but it always seems to be inside of me, personal. I guess I kind of pride myself with being able to hide my emotions well. Pastor Randy once told me to have a few close friends and only break down among those few. I think I do that. I struggle with things, but they are never really evident outside things. Except this...
The other day I realized what an unproductive day I had. I talk to people and tell them that I am busy all the time. A good busy. Then I realized any free time I had was mostly wasted. I have a problem. I was reading 2 Peter 1. This chapter contains a list of fruits or evident things in a believer's life that would show they are walking with the Lord. I read them and evaluated myself on each one.
Fail: Self control aka impulse mastery. It's the 5th one on the list. Because I choose to waste time or lie around, I am hurting myself. I need to be decisive and make a choice that glorifies God. So at the end of the day I can say, Lord I spent this amount of time talking to You or I told someone else about You or I spent this time in Your Word. I will have to answer for it all. Every second that God gave me. And with that in mind, there is an urgency to settle this issue and be the light that I need to be in this dark world.
Romans 7 verses 15 and 19 have been on my mind a lot. This is exactly how I feel. The good I want to do is not what I do. Which means...I am a sinner through and through. It is only by Christ's death and resurrection that I am able to be fully accepted.
*Lord, give me the strength to do what You have called me to do. Let it ALL bring glory to You.*
The other day I realized what an unproductive day I had. I talk to people and tell them that I am busy all the time. A good busy. Then I realized any free time I had was mostly wasted. I have a problem. I was reading 2 Peter 1. This chapter contains a list of fruits or evident things in a believer's life that would show they are walking with the Lord. I read them and evaluated myself on each one.
Fail: Self control aka impulse mastery. It's the 5th one on the list. Because I choose to waste time or lie around, I am hurting myself. I need to be decisive and make a choice that glorifies God. So at the end of the day I can say, Lord I spent this amount of time talking to You or I told someone else about You or I spent this time in Your Word. I will have to answer for it all. Every second that God gave me. And with that in mind, there is an urgency to settle this issue and be the light that I need to be in this dark world.
Romans 7 verses 15 and 19 have been on my mind a lot. This is exactly how I feel. The good I want to do is not what I do. Which means...I am a sinner through and through. It is only by Christ's death and resurrection that I am able to be fully accepted.
*Lord, give me the strength to do what You have called me to do. Let it ALL bring glory to You.*
2 comments:
Thanks for this, Em. I still feel like I'm trying to decide who the "few close friends" are - and in the meantime I just pretend I can handle it all on my own! I need to ensure that the time I'm spending with the Lord is priority, so that my days would be fruitful...
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