Hi, my name is Emily and I am attending USF through a college close to home, I am doing an elementary education program that will take two years to complete. I have a wonderful family. I am the oldest of 4 kids and have great parents who love one another and their kids. I have learned so much in the past year about myself and my Creator.
I now have four less teeth in my mouth. I also have a little hole in my hand where the iv went in. I haven't eaten anything with substance... And I am loving it.
I was really nervous about getting my wisdom teeth out. I really hate needles and so that part was bothering me the most. Thankfully for me, I serve a good God. Even though I went to sleep crying and woke up crying, I am fine. I knew I would be, but I get worked up about things like this. I am so thankful that the Lord is with me always. Even if it's sitting in the oral surgeon's office waiting for pain.
I love Lindsey. Right now, as I am typing we are having a heart to heart in my bedroom. I am so glad she is visiting. It has been very encouraging to have her here. I am so glad that we are friends and that she chose to come down to Sebring for her spring break. She makes me smile. It feels kind of like she never left. One main thing that I love about her is that she is honest. She is kind though. If she wants to express how she feels or what she thinks, she is honest. I really appreciate it. Sometimes people can dance around the truth, but she tells you flat out. I love that. She is always appreciative of other people's kindness and wants you to know that she cares about you. There are so many other things that I could say about her, but she is amazing and so worth staying up late to talk to. :)
This week has been rough. I am hoping and praying that this coming week will be better. My laptop, Rose is not working. She shut down twice while I was doing work one night and now some random security system won't let me get on the internet. What is really awful is that she is only a year old and I don't know how to fix any of that stuff. One of my classes at school is also giving me some trouble and this week it just seemed like a culmination of all the hard work just buried me. How much of this is my fault and how much is just beyond my control?
Last night I was reading Philippians 1. I love reading Paul's writing and knowing all the struggles that he faced. This particular chapter was talking about Paul's desire to be with Jesus, but also how for him to live was for the Philippians' benefit. He talked about how he wanted to be in heaven, but maybe why he was still on earth was for those he was ministering to. I too have a purpose on earth. I do not know for sure what it is. Maybe in this season of my life, the Lord has put me in Sebring to minister to the youth here, the little kids that I watch at work, or maybe that girl I talk to in my class. Whatever the Lord has for me, I want to fulfill my purpose. I want Him to be pleased with my actions. If my purpose is for that other person, I pray that I will live out my faith so that they too will be drawn to God's love and grace. My purpose and actions shouldn't change based on my emotions.
That passage was really encouraging to me. It made me step back and look at the big picture rather than the bad stuff that I was having to deal with. I was able to say, yeah, I might be struggling, but God is in control. His will is what I want done, not mine. Even though I want my computer to work and all my classes to be easy, I need to step back and say, what is God's purpose and plan in this situation. Just like Pastor Randy said this morning, His story is so much more important than my story.
I am going to New York City for Spring Break! Yay! I am going with my mom, my grandma, and three aunts. I am so excited. Cheesecake, Broadway, but above all, I am so excited to hang out with just the ladies in my family.
*Note to self: ask off work. Ha.*
P.S. Chocolate chip pancakes are always good for dinner.
I love this verse. I know that it was said to Solomon, from his father David, but the truth of it is awesome. I love it.
"...know the God of your father, and serve Him with a whole heart and a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever."
To me, this is beautiful. David tells his son at the end of his life, know God. Those simple words are so powerful. To know God takes time and energy. To fully know Him as Lord is beyond comprehension. First of all, it's crazy to me that we can truly know Him. Why does the God of the universe choose to love us and allow us to know Him? Because of who He is. We have the opportunity to intimately know God.
We need to also serve God with a whole heart. Simply surrender everything. We sang a song in church today that made me think of this. The part said, empty-handed but alive in Your hands. The fact of the matter is when we surrender everything and are truly empty, the Lord fills us up with Him and we are alive through Him.
The Lord searches all hearts. He knows everything about you and me. He knows the intents of our heart. He knows why I really said what I did. He knows whether I am serving Him because it is an overflow of my heart or if it is for my own selfish gain.
The last part of the verse is simple and to the point. If you seek Him, He will reveal Himself to you. But if you choose to reject Him, He will reject you. It's an easy decision, I think. I am so thankful that He gave us a choice. I am so thankful that if I call out to Him, He will hear me and will allow me to seek Him.
David was said to be 'a man after God's own heart'. I think that it shows, just in the last advice he gives his son before he dies. The truth of this verse can apply to everyone of us. It reminds us of God's love, His grace, and His overall character.
Is being comfortable a good thing? Many might look at that and say, yeah it's all about me and my comfort. I don't think that I want to be comfortable. I don't want to live my life only doing what is inside my little comfort bubble. I think that some of the times that God uses people the most is when they are willing to be used by Him and step out in faith. Is it comfortable to move to a big city where you don't know anyone, but all you know is that the Lord is urging you to? No. Is it nice to have to give up little luxuries during the day to make yourself more productive? No, but it's worth it. I sometimes fear that I am getting too comfortable. I have a nice living situation aka free, I have a job, the government practically pays me to go to school, I have a close group of godly friends. All of this is wonderful, but am I too comfortable? I asked my pastor the other day to decide my life for me. Ha. That might sound funny, but my pastor knows me and I have a high level of respect for him and his advice. I talked to him about what I should do for college next year. Sebring looks like an awesome option. I would maintain all the things that I listed above and I would have an awesome church to call home. But am I too comfortable? I bet that you are tired of the seeing that word. I've only used it in every other sentence. What does this mean for me though? I need to step outside what I am used to and what I am comfortable in. I need to be willing to go that extra mile to talk to someone I don't usually talk to. I need to do whatever God directs me to do with my life, whether it is living in Sebring all the rest of my life or if it is marrying a missionary and living in Africa. I don't know exactly what the future holds, but I do know that I do not want my comfortableness to lead to apathy. That's the worst thing that could happen. I do not want to be too comfortable that I lose sight of the plan that God has for me. I guess it's all about living my life with an open hand. I have to be obedient in the situation God has me in now, but when something comes up and the Lord wants to move me...I want to be ready to listen and obey. When He takes something out of my hand, I need to be willing to let Him fill it back up.
"To You I give my future, as long as it may last. To You I give my present, to You I give my past."
