How did we get here?

I work at my church's daycare. And I love it. I started about a month ago. Recently I ordered three CDs from Amazon.com. When I first get a CD, I like to listen to it everywhere I go. The perfect amount of listening is when I can sing along and know some of the words. I am not at that point yet with my new CDs. So how do these two facts coincide? I have been bringing the CDs to work. I love putting them in and watching as the little one year olds start dancing to David Crowder. As I was laughing and nodding my head along, I thought to myself...how do we get to this point? When is it in life that we just stop dancing? These little kids around me were loving life and moving along to the beat of the song. Why is it that teens or adults don't do that? What happened that made us stop being so free? It made me think of that song from Fee, I am free. One of the lines in that song says, I am free to dance. To me, dancing is just a letting go. A chance to let loose whatever is holding us back. I don't know if any of these thoughts make sense or how they go together, but I was thinking about the simplicity of these little boys and how I, at 19 years old, am missing that. All this to say, life is short. Sometimes you just have to be a little wild and not so serious. So next time when those little one year olds dance to my David Crowder CD, I think I will be dancing right along with them.

Speech Class

So, today in my speech class, we had to do a journal entry. The one question we had to answer was, Who am I? That was it. We had five minutes to answer that question. I didn't really think about what I was writing until the end when I reviewed it. Here it is:

I am the daughter of the King, I am His being loved child. I am a girl who is sometimes insecure, but is then able to recognize my identity in Him. I am stubborn and extroverted. I tend to be shy in situations that are new or uncomfortable. I am a good listener and somewhat of a hard worker. I am a good student, although I procrastinate. I love my family, but don't always act like it. I am organized in my own unorganized way. I live for my Creator, knowing that He loves me and that is all I need.

When I got done and time was up. I looked at it and all I could think about was how thankful I was that I didn't describe myself in a negative way. A few years ago and maybe even recently too, I would have put some negative things about my appearance or personality. But instead I was able to see how God views me. I was able to see that I knew my identity was in Him and that He valued me. It was so refreshing to see that. I know that I have flaws and that I am far from perfect. I have so much more to learn in my walk with God, but it is refreshing to look in the mirror and know that I am loved more then I will ever know.
A little while ago, my friend and I were talking about how some preachers have their own overall message they want to portray to people. I know that I am not a preacher, nor will I ever be, but if I had to choose something that I would talk to people about if given the chance, it would probably be self worth and identity. I write about it so much on this blog (even though know one reads it), it is so important to me. I pray that I will always be able to see who I am in Christ and in that, I will be able to help others who might struggle with that as well.

p.s. The picture up top is a painting by Norman Rockwell, that I really like.

Tenth Avenue North

They amaze me. I love their songs, but the lyrics are amazing. Today as I was driving home from church earlier, I heard the song By Your Side. One line in particular struck me. I love when songs make you think. I enjoy music so much and it is so cool that that love can be put into deepening my relationship with my God. So, here it is:

"Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?"

I don't ever want to be at a point in my life that I am searching for love from somewhere other than my Heavenly Father. I agree that human love is important, but it is nothing in comparison to the love that would give up life in order for my salvation.
Tenth Avenue North is quickly becoming a favorite. I think I might have written about this before, but I also love the song Beloved.


*Disclaimer* If you look Beloved up on youtube or whatever, you might find some interesting images accompanying the song though. (Thank you Douglas)

Journal Entry

During my junior or senior year of high school, I read a book called Authentic Beauty. It was such a needed thing at that point in my life. It helped me recognize Jesus as my Prince, the one who loves me more than any person ever could. I busted it out a little while ago when I was going to talk to some of the youth group girls about their identity in Christ. I wrote this quote down in my journal because it is one that continues to remind me of the importance of pursuing a relationship with Jesus over anything else.

"A set-apart young woman is one marked by the imprint of Christ, one italicized by a lily whiteness, and punctuated by a feminine mystique that leaves the world around her astounded."

How many kings...

So, I was driving down the road with Kirsten tonight, about to be bombarded by my mad sisters, but as we were driving we were listening to the radio. The song, How Many Kings, by Downhere came on. I like that song, it's cool. My brother has it on his iPod and I've heard it before, then tonight it made me think. My favorite line in the song goes, "How many gods have poured out their hearts to romance a world that is torn all apart?" That made me stop and think.
We are studying ancient Egypt in my humanities class and I was taken aback by how many gods they had. They were constantly trying to please all of them at one time and to make it into the afterlife with all of their stuff. I am so glad that I know the truth, that I do not have to wonder if I got it right. I know that there is one God, and He came to romance this world that is all torn apart. He poured out His heart in the sense that we have His word and we have His love letter to the world. I love the imagery that the artists set up. I love the phrase to romance the world. That is exactly what God did. He came to this earth because He loves us and He is everyday being the Lover of my soul. He is my King that is one day coming back for His bride. He is everything and because of that I live my life for Him.

You're Beautiful

On our tour of Israel, we went into a church were many different groups were inside. It was a beautiful church and when we entered one group was in the front singing. It was so neat because after one group was done, another would immediately fill the silence. I was struck with the reality that one day soon, just like in this church, there will be a sea of people singing to their Lord. Just as these people were singing in different languages and I knew they were glorifying our Creator, one day we would be standing before the throne of God, doing the exact same thing...solely focused on Jesus.
Then, a few weeks ago some of my friends led worship at one of the local churches. During that time, it was perfect...the lights were dim, the music was soft, and I totally felt God's presence. I was standing there just imagining what Heaven is going to be like. I kept thinking that, wow, one of these days, maybe even today, I am going to meet my Creator. One day I am going to lift my voice with so many others, in so many different languages. Ever since that night, I have had this excitement growing inside of me. I want to be ready for that day. I want to hear God call me a faithful servant. I want to live my life in a way that pleases Him. I want Him to be pleased with my offering of worship to Him.

"When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
You're bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful." - Phil Wickham

Jesus is my fulfillment.

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need you satisfy me

With Your LOVE and all I have in You is more that enough.

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

I have this longing inside of me. I know that it can not be filled with anything more than God. I want the desires of my heart to be what His will is. Not what I want, but what He wants. The longing that I have has to be turned over to Him.

Lord, You are my supply, my breath of life. Still more awesome than I know!