Journal Entry

During my junior or senior year of high school, I read a book called Authentic Beauty. It was such a needed thing at that point in my life. It helped me recognize Jesus as my Prince, the one who loves me more than any person ever could. I busted it out a little while ago when I was going to talk to some of the youth group girls about their identity in Christ. I wrote this quote down in my journal because it is one that continues to remind me of the importance of pursuing a relationship with Jesus over anything else.

"A set-apart young woman is one marked by the imprint of Christ, one italicized by a lily whiteness, and punctuated by a feminine mystique that leaves the world around her astounded."

How many kings...

So, I was driving down the road with Kirsten tonight, about to be bombarded by my mad sisters, but as we were driving we were listening to the radio. The song, How Many Kings, by Downhere came on. I like that song, it's cool. My brother has it on his iPod and I've heard it before, then tonight it made me think. My favorite line in the song goes, "How many gods have poured out their hearts to romance a world that is torn all apart?" That made me stop and think.
We are studying ancient Egypt in my humanities class and I was taken aback by how many gods they had. They were constantly trying to please all of them at one time and to make it into the afterlife with all of their stuff. I am so glad that I know the truth, that I do not have to wonder if I got it right. I know that there is one God, and He came to romance this world that is all torn apart. He poured out His heart in the sense that we have His word and we have His love letter to the world. I love the imagery that the artists set up. I love the phrase to romance the world. That is exactly what God did. He came to this earth because He loves us and He is everyday being the Lover of my soul. He is my King that is one day coming back for His bride. He is everything and because of that I live my life for Him.

You're Beautiful

On our tour of Israel, we went into a church were many different groups were inside. It was a beautiful church and when we entered one group was in the front singing. It was so neat because after one group was done, another would immediately fill the silence. I was struck with the reality that one day soon, just like in this church, there will be a sea of people singing to their Lord. Just as these people were singing in different languages and I knew they were glorifying our Creator, one day we would be standing before the throne of God, doing the exact same thing...solely focused on Jesus.
Then, a few weeks ago some of my friends led worship at one of the local churches. During that time, it was perfect...the lights were dim, the music was soft, and I totally felt God's presence. I was standing there just imagining what Heaven is going to be like. I kept thinking that, wow, one of these days, maybe even today, I am going to meet my Creator. One day I am going to lift my voice with so many others, in so many different languages. Ever since that night, I have had this excitement growing inside of me. I want to be ready for that day. I want to hear God call me a faithful servant. I want to live my life in a way that pleases Him. I want Him to be pleased with my offering of worship to Him.

"When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
You're bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful." - Phil Wickham

Jesus is my fulfillment.

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need you satisfy me

With Your LOVE and all I have in You is more that enough.

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

I have this longing inside of me. I know that it can not be filled with anything more than God. I want the desires of my heart to be what His will is. Not what I want, but what He wants. The longing that I have has to be turned over to Him.

Lord, You are my supply, my breath of life. Still more awesome than I know!

Camp!

Well, it's the weekend and I have a little down time and rest. Camp has been going really well. Two weeks down, three more to go. Senior high and junior high were the first weeks and tonight I will head back for some staff training for the pioneer week aka the little kids. The past few weeks have been good but challenging. This is my first year counseling, but so far I love it and am really glad that God laid it on my heart to become involved with Camp Mantowagan. This upcoming week I will be counseling with Shaheen, which should be awesome!

I am struggling a little with having my own time in the day to have devotions and just spend my own quiet time with the Lord. I know that I will need to make more of an effort to get up early or stay up later, but sleep is such a precious thing to me during camp that I am struggling to give that up. It really is all about priorities and I want the Lord to be first. Senior high week was awesome because we actually had scheduled time to spend with the Lord, but this past week we had to do it on our own time. I know that with little kids I will have to be with them at all times so, I am fully aware that I will have to sacrifice some time. I am ready to do that and I am getting really excited for the coming few days.

I would really appreciate your prayers for camp and also just that God will use me and have His will in my life and at camp. Thank you all in advance:)

The End to a new Beginning

Well, it has taken me awhile to actually come online, but we are done. About three weeks ago on a Sunday night, we graduated. Then, the very next day five of the twelve people I lived with for a year, left. It was a bittersweet goodbye, but I know that those people are ones I can call up and talk to anytime I need to. They are friends that I know I can always rely on and I know that they have learned just as much as I have this year. I will still miss them tremendously.
So, what's next? I am going to be a counselor at a small summer camp in PA with one of the girls from GCBI. I am so excited and I will leave in a week and a half to head up there. I signed up for classes today too at the local community college. I was excited to hear that if I took two full semesters and a few classes in the next summer, I would get my AA in a year. This next week is my last week at work too. I feel like things that I love so much are ending, but I know that that means there are new things in store for me. I know that God has a bigger plan for me and everyday He is revealing more of Himself to me and His will for my life. That is my goal, to live a moment by moment surrendered life for my King. As things end and new things begin in my life, He is in control and I am ready for what He has. I know that some of it is hard, but He is the One I am following and wanting to please. His plan is the only one I am willing to follow. Living life with my hands open.

Winding down...

This year has gone by so fast. It is really amazing to me that so much time has past, but it feels like yesterday we were at orientation and I was nervous about meeting so many new people. Now they feel like family and I am sitting here in the common room with a few other people and this feels so much like home.

Tomorrow we all with load up once again in our van with our teacher Pastor Randy and go to a couple of churches in Florida. We are going to be helping them in any way that we can, whether it be hard labor or just encouraging there. This will be our last big trip together as a team. I am excited to go and I know that given the people that the trip will be with, it will me a good trip.
As this year comes to a close, it's really sad, but I am realizing that God has big plans for me and even though they might involve still staying in Sebring, I know that God will help me take what I've learned this year and use it for His glory. Next year, I plan on going to the community college here and also being involved with the youth here. Hopefully too, since I've been through the program, I will be able to tell the other people who are here next year how the year is and also, what to expect and hopefully form a relationship with them too. Basically all I know is that God has a plan for me and that whatever happens next year and in my distant future, that He is in control and I can always fall back on His character and love.