After the rain...

Today as I was leaving WalMart, after there had been a brief rain, I looked in front of me and there was a gorgeuos double rainbow. I wish I had a camera with me to capture the beautiful moment. But as I stared at the rainbow and thanked the Lord that I could experience His creation, I was reminded of the story of Noah and that that rainbow was a promise. I felt such a peace and joy knowing that.

Through His word, the Lord has made many promises. And He has and will keep every one of them. He knows what is best for our life. Even when we forget that truth. His promises are trustworthy. We can believe what He says.

I was reminded of a something a friend/mentor of mine told me. When she was going through a really hard time in her life, she constantly reminded herself of this simple, yet complex truth; "God is good and He does what is right for His children".

And with that in mind, we can have peace.

It's been awhile...

When I last blogged, I was in Daytona Beach for a youth retreat. That was about a month and a half ago. I feel like the only right thing to do is blog again. There's not a whole lot going on in my life right now. I started my elementary education program through USF. So far I really enjoy it. I am praying that I will do a good job and that I can find people in my class to connect with and spend time with. I am also really excited because I get the opportunity to intern in a second grade classroom at one of the local elementary schools. The teacher I was paired with is really good at what she does and was very kind to me. I think it will be a good year.

My brother moved out last week to go to the same Bible Institute I attended two years ago. It seems so weird that it was two years ago for me. I love and miss everyone from that year. They all meant more to me than they could ever know. The site coordinators from that Bible school are also so dear to me. I love them both and I am so enjoying the time I get to spend with them. A few of my best friends moved away recently and/or went back to college after this summer. I will miss them all and hope to see them soon.

It is so awesome and amazing to me that the Lord brings people into your life, maybe only for a short season and they can impact you so positively and importantly. I am thinking in particular of the eleven people that I have been missing so much since my brother went to the Bible Institute. It is neat for me to watch as the new GCBI class is already growing as one unit, but also it makes me think of my year and the eleven people who are never far from my mind. It is so amazing that the Lord is using each of them in a different way. Two were married and are traveling around ministering to people through music and God's Word, one is in Peru planting churches, two are at a ministry center in a big city, some of us are attending college and pursuing what God has called us to do, and one is moving onto something that the Lord has laid heavy on his heart. I am so encouraged by the bond we developed in that one year and I love them all. I also think of the girls that I got to know well from last year's GCBI class and also the lovely women I got to meet from camp.

The Lord is moving in so many places and I am so excited to know that I can encourage and pray for people as they continue in their journey with Christ. It amazes me that there are people all over, working for God's Kingdom and we are all connected through Him. What a lovely thought!

Camp 2010

I am currently in Daytona Beach with a handful of students from my youth group. And I am tired and need to sleep soon, but I really want to write about camp while it is still in my mind.

This summer was great. Again, my friend and I counseled at the summer camp we were at last summer. Again, we had a great time there. I know for me, I didn't really have that much trouble with any of my girls. My co-counselors were awesome and I really enjoyed all the girls I had. Background info: Every night, in our cabins, we have devotionals. I love these times. They are a time to reflect, to create unity in the cabin, and to simply talk to the girls about God's love for them. One thing I struggled with for my first three weeks was that none of my cabins wanted to talk about spiritual things at that time. I prayed for it and hoped so much that the girls would open up. It never happened for the first three weeks. To be honest, I got a little discouraged and talked to my co-counselors about it. The whole time, I kept praying for God to use me and thinking that maybe His plan was to use our time together as a "fencepost" as Connie says. Fourth week comes: 3 of the girls in my cabin accepted Christ for the first time! I was so excited. I even got to pray with one of them. It was all worth it. Everything that I did this summer was worth it. I wouldn't trade a hundred spiritual conversations for that experience. I am so stoked about this past summer and all that I was able to see God do in my girls' lives.

*Thank you Lord for using me in spite of myself and my own wants. You know what is best for my life and what was best for my camp experience. Thank you for your love. Heavenly Father, You always amaze me.*

* Sunday School *

Today at church, Ryan went over Psalm 27 in Sunday School. He talked about how we need to focus on the Lord instead of focusing on our problem or the size of an issue. One of his main points was that we need to be in a "perpetual state of worship". The Psalm is such a neat one. It opens up with David expressing to God how much he needs Him and characteristics of our Heavenly Father. What was really cool was that some of the principles Ryan pulled out were the same as what Pastor Randy was talking about in first service.

One of the principles that I love is that when we don't understand God's ways, we have to fall back on His character. It is so true. It makes me think of the verses in Psalm 73. "Whom have I in heaven but You? I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." When tough times come into our lives we need to focus on who God is. We need to look at what He's done in our lives and the lives of others and know that He is good. I know that it's easy for me to sit here and write this blog about hard times and pain because looking back on my life, I know I haven't experienced anything in comparison to some of my fellow believers. But I want to be able to look at this later when I do have major trouble and see that God is faithful. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

And heart abandoned...

I really love the song by Hillsong United, the Stand. The lyrics are so powerful. One line says, "You stood before my failure and carried the cross for my shame". Jesus looked at my sin and gladly bore it. He sacrificed Himself and died on a cross all so that I would be able to have a relationship with Him. One of the next lines says, "So what can I say, what can I do? But offer this heart O God, completely to You". Because of His love and sacrifice, I have to make a choice. Because He acted in love I must surrender my life and will to Him. The song explains salvation and God's grace so beautifully.

My favorite lyrics are at the end though. "So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned; in awe of the One who gave it all. I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered, all I am is Yours." That's it. I will stand, now and forever in awe of my Lord. He gave it all. He gave His power and life so He could come to earth and die for me. Therefore, I will stand against opposition and forever stand before the Lord with my heart abandoned and in awe. It's all about surrender. It is all about my choice to respond to the grace that God has offered. All I am is His.

9 random facts about me.

This post is not witty or clever. Which both of those things are good to include when writing a blog post. Just random things about me, some serious and others not so serious.

1. Currently, at this moment in time, I am sick. Bah!

2. I hate conflict!! I think that sentence deserves another exclamation point. I am one of those, ignore the problem and it will go away type people.

3. My laptop, Rose is starting to act up again. This is no good.

4. I need to pray more. After I write this, I will do just that. I would also like it, if you, my friends would give me things I could be praying for you about. I don't want it to be all about me.

5. I am going to breakfast tomorrow with 3 of my good friends and my best friend's boyfriend. Yay!

6. I love children, I want whatever I do in life to involve them. I want to teach them, I want them to learn from me: knowledge and life skills too.

7. I work with the youth group at my church. I am always encouraged by the energy of the youth and each week I am excited to watch as they learn from God's Word.

8. My favorite food is spaghetti...it has been since I was a little girl. I bet you really don't care, but I needed a number 8.

9. I want you, through reading my blog to know the Creator, my God. I am not perfect. I am just another sinner, saved by grace. And this blog means nothing if it doesn't point you to my Lord.

There are my random facts. The last one is the most important though. Have a good night all.

Success

I had to write an essay about how I defined success in one of my college classes. I am going to post the essay because I felt that it really showed what I am striving towards, and sometimes what I am failing at. It is kind of long, so if you don't read it, I won't be offended.

How do I define success? That is a hard question. One definition of success, according to dictionary.com, is the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like. To me, success is so much more than that. Success is more than monetary gain or power. Success for me is based on what my God says success in life is. Everything I need to know about success in this life is found in God’s Word. I spent my first year after high school at the Great Commission Bible Institute. I am not an expert or scholar, but I do know the importance of living for my Savior. Success to me is the same as the Biblical definition of peace. Peace literally means the ability to lay your head on your pillow at night knowing that all is as it should be. That is success; to lay my head on my pillow and know that I have done everything that day to please my Lord.

Success doesn’t have to be a long term goal. A person can have success in their everyday life. For a mother, she can succeed by nurturing her children and protecting them from any outside influence that shouldn’t be permitted in her children’s lives. For a college student like me, success can be doing my best in school, paying attention to the people in authority in my life, and by keeping my heart and mind pure throughout my day. For a pastor, success can be shepherding the members of the church and taking his responsibilities seriously. Everyone has the opportunity to succeed. Success is very much about our choices.

Success can be determined somewhat by the choices we make. Little decisions we make can have a long term effect on our lives. By making the hard choices now, in the long run we can actually create “a pattern for success.” When we make right choices now, we can continue making good choices in the future. Success is more attainable when we make choices that will have a positive effect on our lives and also the way we define success.

As I said earlier, success to me is about the same as the Biblical definition as peace. In order to achieve this peace it is important for me to start the day by acknowledging my life is not about me. My life should be all about pointing other people to my Lord. When I do something kind or right, it should be to show people Who I live for. I don’t think that success is just a feeling or an award or job that you get. Success can be about an outside acknowledgement, but I think that success is so much more about meeting a personal goal or living out a belief or value.

As I also said in my introduction, success to me is pleasing my God. I have a personal Savior who gave His life for mine. He sacrificed Himself in order to have a relationship with me. So, when I choose to live my life for Him I am choosing to see life as He says it is. When I do this, I see success as what He wants my life to be.

I don’t want it to seem like I don’t have goals or that success is a vague feeling. I do have specific things in my life that I want to achieve. I want to go to college and finish my education responsibly and well. I want to be a teacher and I know that this is a desire that the Lord has placed in my life. I want to get married, have kids, and become the type of successful mother that I described earlier. All of these desires and goals are just one of the ways that I can define success in my life. I know that not all of this may be possible and some of my longings may change, but I know that as long as I am following God’s will for my life, I will succeed overall.

Success isn’t easy. Success takes work and a lot of deliberate action. It may take years for me to achieve and to perfect, but I know that by making good, responsible choices now and always remembering that my life is not meant to be lived for myself, I can make a difference. Success is possible.

Responsibility

Since I was 8 years old, I knew that I wanted to be a teacher. I was that annoying little girl who wanted to "teach" all of her friends and never let them be the teacher. I would teach my baby dolls or my Barbies and even my younger siblings. As I grew older, I knew that this was what I wanted to do with me life. As I grew, so did my love for little kids. I remember wanting to be in the nursery when I was 12.

I love the way little kids interact with each other and with the teachers. I love the way their faces light up when they realize they understand what you are telling them. I love their thirst for knowledge and how, even though it may get repetitive, they ask you why or how something happens. I love seeing the joy on their faces as they run around the playground and run from each other when they play duck, duck, goose.

I thank the Lord that I know my calling in life. I thank Him that He has my life planned out, for His glory and that He has told me why I am here. I love influencing little kids lives. But with that comes responsibility. I am realizing that more and more as I continue my education to become a teacher. I am learning that I will have the opportunity as a teacher to help guide them in their lives as they become a teacher themselves or maybe the president. I am learning that this gift with children and this passion must be used to bring God glory. I know that He is the one who has given that desire to me and I know that I need to take that role seriously and learn early on the effect, whether positive or negative, that I can have on the children I come in contact with.

*Father, help me to become the teacher and woman that You want me to be. Help me to bring glory to You in all that I say and do. Thank you for this passion and this desire to help others as they grow and learn.*

God's Love

Today Kayla and I went to HGMS to lead the first girl talk. I was a little nervous, but I knew it would be alright. The topic that we chose for girl talk was the fruit of the Spirit. We figured we would start at the first characteristic. Love. We wanted to talk to the girls about God's love and all about salvation. Sixth grade had a lot of girls so, I don't know how well they were able to hear us, but the gospel was definitely presented and I think they understood. Eighth grade was a little rough, but seventh grade was awesome. We started talking to the girls about love and immediately what they thought of was romance and defined love as feelings you have for another person. Its totally understandable considering the culture that we live in and the fact that they loved the Twilight books the most. But what Kayla and I tried to get them to understand was that love means giving of yourself. We wanted them to know that there were so many ways to show people love without having to be mushy and gushy.

The girls started to feel more comfortable and started to ask us questions. The one question that stuck out to me the most and was the hardest to explain was, "How do you know God loves you?" Wow. Think about that. How do you know? This is something in my life that I have never doubted or really given a second thought. I couldn't think of a way to tell them that I know God's love because of the family that I have or all the blessings He has given me. I didn't know how to tell them that sometimes, as odd as it sounds, I could feel that love. I could stand without a doubt and feel His presence and His love.

Above all though, we told them it all comes down to if you believe that the Bible is true. If they believe it is truth then they will know of God's love. It is spoken of throughout the entire book. We told them about John 3:16 and the verse in 1 John that says God is love. I think they got it. I think that they went away with, hopefully a better knowledge of who God is and how He loves them. Pray for these girls please. Pray for their hearts and minds. Pray that they will truly be able to grasp God's love for them and to allow that love to change their lives.

At the end of the day, the song that is stuck in my mind is one that seems even more true and encouraging to me says simply that "He loves us. Oh, how He loves us so."

True Love

I love this song by Phil Wickham, I thought it was appropriate for Easter Sunday. Enjoy.

Lose your life just so you can find it.


Jesus is alive!

Work Today...

So, I have this friend. She is awesome. She has a blog that talks about all the funny things that kids say in her classroom. Today at work, the kids were on a roll. They seriously entertained me the whole time I was there. Therefore, I tip my hat to her and would like to give you all just a taste of the kids I have the opportunity to spend time with.

Example 1: My heart smiled today as I watched 6 little three year-olds watch Dora the Explorer. They were so glued to the television. They responded to all her questions and were so excited when they got to help her. Seriously, so cute.

Example 2: I had the bubbles while I was out on the playground. One of the little boys got so excited that I was blowing bubbles. Can anyone say Finding Nemo? He was like the little fish who loves bubbles. He ran around after them yelling: bubbles, bubbles, I love bubbles. He giggled the whole time too. A-dorable.

Example 3: There is a little girl who just turned three about a month ago and is SO smart. She uses words I never knew little kids would know. Today she came up to me with a twisted slinky and said all pitifully, "Emily, It's ruined, just ruined!" I was astounded that she knew that word and could use it in context. So smart.

Example 4: Last, but not least. One little girl came running up to me with her hand in the middle of her chest. She said, "This is where my heart is. Listen, it's beeping." Ha.

So, I hope this brought a little bit of joy to your day. I wanted to share just a little bit from the little kids who I enjoy so much.

Reality

Yesterday we had a celebration of life at my church for Mr. Good. He was a very godly man who went to be with the Lord last week. It was an awesome service celebrating him and the servant that he was. It is so encouraging to see older godly men and women in the church. It has been wonderful to grow up watching their examples and learning from them.

The thing is, I can get so wrapped up in the believers that I forget that I live in a fallen world. I am thankful for the believers in my life and the godly family that I have. But then I go to school and realize that I do in fact live in a sinful world. I was in class today and was astounded by the immorality that was being celebrated in my class. Because of this I know that I need to make even more of an effort to be a light. I want the Lord to shine through me. I want people to realize that there is something different in me. I want to be able to tell others of the joy that I have only in Christ. I need to remember these things. As I go to school and work, I need to know that I have the opportunity to make a difference in the Lord's kingdom and it all depends on my choices.

Daniel 1

What a way to spend the day.

I now have four less teeth in my mouth. I also have a little hole in my hand where the iv went in. I haven't eaten anything with substance... And I am loving it.

I was really nervous about getting my wisdom teeth out. I really hate needles and so that part was bothering me the most. Thankfully for me, I serve a good God. Even though I went to sleep crying and woke up crying, I am fine. I knew I would be, but I get worked up about things like this. I am so thankful that the Lord is with me always. Even if it's sitting in the oral surgeon's office waiting for pain.

Lindsey

I love Lindsey. Right now, as I am typing we are having a heart to heart in my bedroom. I am so glad she is visiting. It has been very encouraging to have her here. I am so glad that we are friends and that she chose to come down to Sebring for her spring break. She makes me smile. It feels kind of like she never left. One main thing that I love about her is that she is honest. She is kind though. If she wants to express how she feels or what she thinks, she is honest. I really appreciate it. Sometimes people can dance around the truth, but she tells you flat out. I love that. She is always appreciative of other people's kindness and wants you to know that she cares about you. There are so many other things that I could say about her, but she is amazing and so worth staying up late to talk to. :)

My Purpose...

This week has been rough. I am hoping and praying that this coming week will be better. My laptop, Rose is not working. She shut down twice while I was doing work one night and now some random security system won't let me get on the internet. What is really awful is that she is only a year old and I don't know how to fix any of that stuff. One of my classes at school is also giving me some trouble and this week it just seemed like a culmination of all the hard work just buried me. How much of this is my fault and how much is just beyond my control?

Last night I was reading Philippians 1. I love reading Paul's writing and knowing all the struggles that he faced. This particular chapter was talking about Paul's desire to be with Jesus, but also how for him to live was for the Philippians' benefit. He talked about how he wanted to be in heaven, but maybe why he was still on earth was for those he was ministering to. I too have a purpose on earth. I do not know for sure what it is. Maybe in this season of my life, the Lord has put me in Sebring to minister to the youth here, the little kids that I watch at work, or maybe that girl I talk to in my class. Whatever the Lord has for me, I want to fulfill my purpose. I want Him to be pleased with my actions. If my purpose is for that other person, I pray that I will live out my faith so that they too will be drawn to God's love and grace. My purpose and actions shouldn't change based on my emotions.

That passage was really encouraging to me. It made me step back and look at the big picture rather than the bad stuff that I was having to deal with. I was able to say, yeah, I might be struggling, but God is in control. His will is what I want done, not mine. Even though I want my computer to work and all my classes to be easy, I need to step back and say, what is God's purpose and plan in this situation. Just like Pastor Randy said this morning, His story is so much more important than my story.

Spring Break!

I am going to New York City for Spring Break! Yay! I am going with my mom, my grandma, and three aunts. I am so excited. Cheesecake, Broadway, but above all, I am so excited to hang out with just the ladies in my family.

*Note to self: ask off work. Ha.*

P.S. Chocolate chip pancakes are always good for dinner.

What is our ending?

At the end of it all, I wanna be in Your arms.
Cause Your love is beautiful. So beautiful.

1 Chronicles 28:9

I love this verse. I know that it was said to Solomon, from his father David, but the truth of it is awesome. I love it.

"...know the God of your father, and serve Him with a whole heart and a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever."

To me, this is beautiful. David tells his son at the end of his life, know God. Those simple words are so powerful. To know God takes time and energy. To fully know Him as Lord is beyond comprehension. First of all, it's crazy to me that we can truly know Him. Why does the God of the universe choose to love us and allow us to know Him? Because of who He is. We have the opportunity to intimately know God.

We need to also serve God with a whole heart. Simply surrender everything. We sang a song in church today that made me think of this. The part said, empty-handed but alive in Your hands. The fact of the matter is when we surrender everything and are truly empty, the Lord fills us up with Him and we are alive through Him.

The Lord searches all hearts. He knows everything about you and me. He knows the intents of our heart. He knows why I really said what I did. He knows whether I am serving Him because it is an overflow of my heart or if it is for my own selfish gain.

The last part of the verse is simple and to the point. If you seek Him, He will reveal Himself to you. But if you choose to reject Him, He will reject you. It's an easy decision, I think. I am so thankful that He gave us a choice. I am so thankful that if I call out to Him, He will hear me and will allow me to seek Him.

David was said to be 'a man after God's own heart'. I think that it shows, just in the last advice he gives his son before he dies. The truth of this verse can apply to everyone of us. It reminds us of God's love, His grace, and His overall character.

Comfortable?

Is being comfortable a good thing? Many might look at that and say, yeah it's all about me and my comfort. I don't think that I want to be comfortable. I don't want to live my life only doing what is inside my little comfort bubble. I think that some of the times that God uses people the most is when they are willing to be used by Him and step out in faith. Is it comfortable to move to a big city where you don't know anyone, but all you know is that the Lord is urging you to? No. Is it nice to have to give up little luxuries during the day to make yourself more productive? No, but it's worth it.
I sometimes fear that I am getting too comfortable. I have a nice living situation aka free, I have a job, the government practically pays me to go to school, I have a close group of godly friends. All of this is wonderful, but am I too comfortable? I asked my pastor the other day to decide my life for me. Ha. That might sound funny, but my pastor knows me and I have a high level of respect for him and his advice. I talked to him about what I should do for college next year. Sebring looks like an awesome option. I would maintain all the things that I listed above and I would have an awesome church to call home. But am I too comfortable?
I bet that you are tired of the seeing that word. I've only used it in every other sentence. What does this mean for me though? I need to step outside what I am used to and what I am comfortable in. I need to be willing to go that extra mile to talk to someone I don't usually talk to. I need to do whatever God directs me to do with my life, whether it is living in Sebring all the rest of my life or if it is marrying a missionary and living in Africa. I don't know exactly what the future holds, but I do know that I do not want my comfortableness to lead to apathy. That's the worst thing that could happen. I do not want to be too comfortable that I lose sight of the plan that God has for me.
I guess it's all about living my life with an open hand. I have to be obedient in the situation God has me in now, but when something comes up and the Lord wants to move me...I want to be ready to listen and obey. When He takes something out of my hand, I need to be willing to let Him fill it back up.

"To You I give my future, as long as it may last.
To You I give my present, to You I give my past."

The Inside

1 Peter 3:3-4

"Your adornment must not be merely external- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."

It's the inside that matters. It doesn't matter what's on the outside or whether you have the best outfit on. The Lord looks at the heart. That's a scary thought sometimes. My heart is far from perfect. But God looks at my heart and sees the blood of Christ that renews it and makes it clean. It's all about: My heart, Christ's home.

The Very Thing I Hate.

"Every day the choices you make say

What you are and Who your heart beats for"

I am a sinner. After so many years of going to church and being saved I forget that. Not that I think I am perfect, but I consider myself to be somewhat mature. I've studied God's Word, not like I know everything, but I know how to study it. I struggle with things, but it always seems to be inside of me, personal. I guess I kind of pride myself with being able to hide my emotions well. Pastor Randy once told me to have a few close friends and only break down among those few. I think I do that. I struggle with things, but they are never really evident outside things. Except this...
The other day I realized what an unproductive day I had. I talk to people and tell them that I am busy all the time. A good busy. Then I realized any free time I had was mostly wasted. I have a problem. I was reading 2 Peter 1. This chapter contains a list of fruits or evident things in a believer's life that would show they are walking with the Lord. I read them and evaluated myself on each one.
Fail: Self control aka impulse mastery. It's the 5th one on the list. Because I choose to waste time or lie around, I am hurting myself. I need to be decisive and make a choice that glorifies God. So at the end of the day I can say, Lord I spent this amount of time talking to You or I told someone else about You or I spent this time in Your Word. I will have to answer for it all. Every second that God gave me. And with that in mind, there is an urgency to settle this issue and be the light that I need to be in this dark world.
Romans 7 verses 15 and 19 have been on my mind a lot. This is exactly how I feel. The good I want to do is not what I do. Which means...I am a sinner through and through. It is only by Christ's death and resurrection that I am able to be fully accepted.
*Lord, give me the strength to do what You have called me to do. Let it ALL bring glory to You.*